Christmas in Dixie...

So it usually takes me longer than I would like to catch up on reading all my friends' blogs, much less writing in my own. Today has found me camped out on our couch all day with a ferocious cold. Apparently, being pregnant wipes out your immune system and leaves you hacky and snotty with nothing you can really do about it other than accumulate sympathetic apologies affixed to well wishes from the local pharmacist. And somehow, I leave CVS already feeling like a bad parent for wanting relief. What's up with that? Having just returned from our Christmas trip South, I had planned on jumping right back into the studio in preparation of my February wholesale show, among a current production schedule due out in late January. I had also thought I would come home rested and rejuvenated too. Definitely NOT the case for me. Feeling like ass is not something I am used to--Ash even called and set up doctor stuff for me with our insurance (which I had neglected to do in August) and make an appointment. I can usually get things running pretty well again in about 2 days, but this has had me flat exhausted for over a week now and I'm tired of it. Tie-Urd. 

It's funny though, I have time to think like I don't normally think. Or wander into my usual disaster fantasies like the upcoming tax season, do I need another tax write off for this year or am I just in a spendy mood? What will I do about working in the studio and being prego? What will I do to keep cash coming in when baby actually arrives? Is our new place really going to be the shithole I imagine it will be? What if I never feel good again? What if it stays winter forever up here? Comical, Ash would say. But seriously, right? What IF? 

Jumping tracks a bit, we did have the best time at home, despite my being sick and Ash taking such good care of me. I have been so thankful for that man over the last few weeks...much more than I can even say. He amazes me with his kindness and thoughtfulness...and keeping things together. Good man. *sigh* So anyway, we got to Bhm much earlier than we had planned b/c of the impending snow storm that was to hit Friday afternoon. We moved our 6pm flight to 6am to avoid being stuck in an airport most of the weekend. A good example of my neurotic brain working in our favor and a perfect opp to surprise Mom. It was fun to troll around telling people with our news, or them guessing it before we have a chance to say it (Su ;o), and even going to a party (Mistletoe Madness) and RMC and catching up with friends...and family. It was fun noticing all those little things about the South that we used to take for granted upon our re-entry: wide interstate lanes, no tolls, cheap parking, wide parking spaces, friendly hellos when we enter a restaurant, Chick-fil-A, good customer service, Bible-verse themed interstate signs next to Love Stuff themed interstate signs, Chelsea Christmas parades that involve Santa, Jesus, shetland ponies and karaoke, people who use turn signals for the direction they are turning (despite the fact that there are only 2 people occupying the 8 person vehicle), and believe it or not, less potholes. Much less. Even for Alabama. 

Here are a few pics for your enjoyment of our niece and 2 nephews...

Suma-time/part 2

These are just a few images from the latter part of our beach vacation before we headed to Bhm for Artwalk. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pics of Artwalk this year. And Ash had to go home on Saturday so he could be at work on Monday (boo that). I stayed in there for a few days to catch up with people before heading to a show in Chicago the next weekend...where Hurricane Ike's wind and record rainfall caught up with me in payback of having such a glorious time at the beach. Who's the sucka now...?

Bike rental in Rosemary is essential. When my family arrived the second half of the week, we had the best time cruising up and down the sidewalks on our 'new' bikes. This shot is on our way to Alys Beach to play at the Fonville Press.

I love this shot of Holly and me. This was one of the things I had looked forward to most in heading South in August. Time with my girl. *sigh*This is our sweet niece, Caroline. Who, when well rested, is the most delightful of little girls. We played on the 'grassy knoll' here in Alys for quite awhile and this shot I think captures a little bit of my hope for her as she grows up...

...And Holly and I just like to roll down the hill...together. :) and yes, we DO have action shots of this.

Oh how I miss J.Clyde and friends...this was a fun night. Thanks for showing up, guys!
One of my mom's and my favorite things is ice cream...so I think Caroline gets it honest. It's fun to be an aunt and get them tanked up on sweets before returning them home (sorry Heather). Kind of a little payback for growing up with Tommy. ;) and I know it will come back to me one day, I'm sure...

Suma-time/part 1

This is from a short trip up to Portsmouth, NH. A day where we went to a waterpark (hilarity), to Hampton Beach, to Portsmouth, to LL Bean in Maine and then back home...all in about 14 hours. Fun times!

This picture is from the time we spent in Rosemary Beach, FL with Ash's family...albeit very brief (b/c some are more fearful of hurricanes than others, ;) ), we definitely loved our time with them...especially our nephews Noah (2.5) and Jonah (10 months).
This picture was taken less than 20 hours before Gustav hit about 100 miles down the beach from us. BTW: being that we were in the middle of the rain bands, we never saw a drop of rain in Rosemary Beach. Suckas.

A Bushel and a Peck...

So Ash and I decided to go apple picking this past weekend...I mean, now that I am respectively DONE with most of my fall shows for a few weeks (I have had one every weekend from August until last weekend on both weekend days, not to mention being away from Ash for more than 10 days during Sept). Needless to say, the hubs is a trooper. (But I did treat him to the fleet foxes show here Monday night as well. Did I already say that it was amazing? B/c it was...

Having an actual Saturday off felt like the best vacation I've had in awhile.  Here are some pictures to highlight our adventure. We also stopped by Salem, which is particularly cheesy this time of year...

If I find enough gumption to post more pics, I have quite a few from our McClure/Lucas vacation extravaganza in Florida and Birmingham to post later. yay! 

the ballad of love and hate

I know several of you may have been shocked to finally find a new post on our neglected little blog when you opened your google reader. I'm a little shocked to be blogging. I don't really have a reason to write much of an update on here. This summer has turned out to be much busier than I had intended it to be. I guess I'm a little thankful for that in some ways, but being that I feel so stressed with it, I'm not sure it's worth it. This isn't really the type of situation I was looking for with my "small business." I'm not sure what I'm looking for out of this situation other than helping out financially when I can. I love being able to help out with our finances.

As far as this little blog, I enjoy being able to put the general update out there...to not be as forgotten as we feel for those of you who care to read what we write. I hope to be able to catch up with those whom I miss the most on a more personal level and fall so short of even responding to most of my emails in any given week being that I get more than about 50 per day at this point. 

I think the longer I go without putting anything out there, the less inclined I am to start up again. Much like my exercise regime. It's usually accompanied by a huge *sigh.* ...with potential failure and judgement looming in my future.  I feel the weight of not doing the things I want/should do in these days. I have felt so consumed with my daily living, with my to-do list, that I forget the other things in life, like going to the store or being a wife. Being that the summers are so short here, I long to even be outside enjoying the weather and sunshine while I can. And day after day all I do is sit in my dark little studio, inhaling what dust and chemical I may only to make a little more money.  By the way, I hate money.

I don't know where I'm going with this and I'm sorry for dragging you along. Overall, I think I like this place in life a little bit more than I did in our first couple of months, despite the continued hardness of it. I like how much closer Ashley and I have gotten as a couple here. I like our space. our garden. riding my bike to the studio on a sunny day. that my studiomates are so different. and so great. i love that Ash really seems to like his new job. i love that my friends are having a babies that we prayed for for so long. (and that I get to meet soon!) I love being able to take a class in anything I want to learn about. I love the option of going to a portuguese church service and eating pao de quejo on a regular basis. i love not owning a home. i love that a hot day here is 90 with 30% humidity, not 104 with 80% humidity. i love the good beer here. I love a realized and expanding potential of a city.

BUT

I hate being so far away when terrible things happen. i hate not knowing how to respond to pain. or death. or friends who are hurting. or loneliness. (i want to know how and to do it better.) i hate not seeing our niece and nephews regularly. I hate chasing down people here who say they want to be our friends but who, in actuality, have no time or space for new friends. I hate not ever seeing or knowing my neighbors. I hate not having a sense of community. I hate being far away from friends getting married that we hoped would sooner than they thought they would. I hate missing out on porch time...missing wine (or soco with susu) and porch time and thursday/friday nights with friends...any night with friends. i hate feeling as lonely as i do most days.

I guess these are just growing pains. Or maybe the fact that I downed sangria right after Ash left on a camping trip this weekend and have been watching Dr. Phil when I should be stringing jewelry b/c I have over 456 pieces that need to go out before we leave for the beach next week.

I can change jobs faster than you can kiss a duck.

And that's pretty fast.  

(This is a compilation of other info and thoughts I've been letting go of randomly, so forgive me if you've already portions of my spill)

I turned in my two week notice Friday.  Exactly four months after I started.  This is the least amount of time I've held a "real" job - I only worked three weeks at Walmart in college.

Goody Clancy (GCA) just wasn't a good fit for me.  More so than any other firm I have worked at previously, their work is focus on one thing: making their clients happy.  So, really, their designs aren't so much a reflection of how good their work can be.  Rather, their work is a reflection of how good their clients can be at designing a building.  I saw what I believe to be bad design decisions made simply because the client requested them.  There was never any discussion about how to better achieve goals - whatever the client wanted, that's what they got.  GCA is all about service, which is great.  Our clients are, after all, footing our paychecks.  However, I would rather be at a place that clients come to because of our expertise, our design, and our creativity.  Not so much because we can follow orders.

[Below, a GCA designed atrium.  Pretty un-interesting)

So how did I end up at GCA?  Well, we had a house on the market, with an offer, and I had one job offer at the time.  We wanted to make the move work, and so we made it work.  GCA wasn't my first choice, but

 it wasn't my last, either.  I did like a few of their buildings - one of which they ended up not being the chief designer of, and who knows how the other one got built.  I had been told that they had come from a long "dry spell" in design terms, but some people said they seemed to be coming out of that.  I thought these two newer buildings were evidence of that.  Maybe at least one of them is, but I'm not willing to wait 10 years for that to happen.  I didn't see too much interesting design being done around the office in my tenure, nor was any presented to us in our weekly office presentations.

So, I'm starting work at Sasaki in two weeks.  Sasaki seems different.  Whereas GCA pretty

 much does only higher-ed work and multi-family housing, Sasaki 

does it all.  And, they are a multi-disciplinary firm.  So I'll be working directly with landscape architects, eco-tech experts, urban planners, etc.  And the firm is all about collaboration between these fields - it's one of the reasons their designs end up being pretty good.   

 

[Right, a Sasaki chapel.  Much better.]

errr, who's winning the match..?

You know...for two people to not care about sports much at all, we sure picked wrong city to move to. This was the scene in front of Ash's office today in celebration of the Celtics win last night. It's just too bad you can't see the blimp and helicopters swarming above...

I've been reading this book with a friend lately. The quote struck me as I read it about 3 weeks ago and just kept rolling around me all weekend

"...we would go to church and receive, it might be, a true blessing of consolation from some passage of scripture, from one of the good old hymns, or from being together. And we would hear also a sermon in which {the pastor} would struggle again with his terrible duty and need to bring comfort to the comfortless, to say something in public that could answer the private fear and grief that were all around him, and he would mostly fail. We would shake his hand at the door as we went out, trying, I suppose,  to console him for his wish to help what could only be endured..."

~Wendell Berry

 from Hannah Coulter

No words.

Yesterday, our dear friend Dewayne passed away. I don't think I have every been so shocked and pierced by such news in my entire life. I have been swallowed up in the grief of it and am still so shocked by it. To have lived only yards away for over a year and now to be so far away from you, Cheryl, makes me sadder still. Every fiber of my being just wants to be able to run across the street and weep with you on your porch b/c my heart is weeping for you and with you here. But my plane leaves early in the morning, so I have nothing to do now, but wait on it.I can't wait to just sit beside you and hold your hand, as if that could somehow transfer all of the grief and loss that you feel to me. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. I have no words to comfort you with, and I don't think I could even try. I can only think of how cruel it feels, how wrong, and how it pulls every light on in my own closet of fear and despair.

Our time Friday night on your porch and at dinner was sweet and I'm so thankful you made time for me while I was in town. What a gift to get to hug you both, to laugh with you guys and spend time together all night. That's all I've been able to think about. Even how my next post assignment was from Dewayne, "Scratch and sniff: Tattoos that smell." I loved his humor, his wit, and words of truth and care always in the mix. I loved how he loved you and publicly praised you simply because he knew you, always looking at you when he thought you weren't looking, just smiling. I loved his heartier laugh when something really tickled him during our sillier moments...how he would just grin when there were no words left to add as we wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. Our Friday nights on the porch with you both were always so rich as well. Thank you for sharing yourselves with us. For not being afraid to simply live your lives with us. I love that you moved into our neighborhood, but you moved into our hearts forever. Living life with you guys there was enough of a reason for us to never, ever sell our house (and I haven't stopped questioning our move yet). I felt the loss of our place there when I was in Bhm this past weekend, which now seems miles wider and deeper.  I have to trust that there is Someone who spans that distance.

And I'm so sorry...

I'm SO sorry, my dear sweet Cheryl.

I'm heartbroken for you. 

He was a good man. A very good man. 

Professionally speaking...

{Disclaimer: This is just a bit of an issue I've had mulling over in my head and are only incomplete thoughts. Read at your own risk!}

So I think going into business for myself started out as such a great idea. It has been a good thing, a bad thing, and has had about as many emotions as my marriage. And much like marriage, had I known exactly what I was in for on the forefront, I'm not sure I would have jumped in (so quickly). It's a relationship that I can't seem to break free of and it has kind of become its own person of sorts. It has its demands, it weaknesses and strengths, its highs and lows, and as much as I love it, I hate it. It's exhilerating and draining and I can't walk away. At least right now. I really didn't want to blog about business unless I had a business blog of sorts, but here it is. Part of it is being a woman in business. That is not something I think I thought much about when I began but has become more of a part of its identity than I thought it should. Being the the nature of business is making money at the end of the day, it seems like women are often expected to be accomodating rather than profitable. Unless you are a pimp, I guess. And I didn't file 501(c)(3) for a reason...

I say that because in my experience in the South more so than what I have found here in New England, dealing with customers and fellow artists takes on a much different tone. I realize that is a huge generalization and that I'm probably speaking more about women rather than our geographical placement. However, I am glad to be free of much pretense there is for being professional and getting paid without other women thinking that I am stepping all over their high heels or infringing on their right to creativity. Or imagine for a moment that you own a store and I ask you to kindly pay for the items you purchased from me, request that you not write me another bad check, or call you out for giving me the same sad excuse for not being able to pay (which has nothing whatever to do with our business relationship). I didn't realize I was here to make your business profitable before my own. Sheeze. This doesn't make me a bi-atch, but rather quite savvy on the bottom line of what we've agreed we're doing here. Or if you ask for my 'professional' opinion, I'm going to assume you genuinely want to know what I think in regard to said particular issue, show, item or how you created something. It's also just an opinion. I also realize that my personality plays into this particular aspect of the situation, which often enough gravely clouds my intentions, of which are not ruthlessness and spite.

What is the point of saying weightless words and having pointless conversations like that? Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for an opp to be mean or tear someone a new one, but there is a lot to be said for being tackfully honest and knowing where you stand with someone. I sincerely hate conflict, but I know walking through it is often the quickest way to get to where we both want to be...I guess now I'm speaking about things other than just business, but that's where I've felt a lot more freedom of late. I think my most vibrant relationships have seen their share of conflict, but also resolution and understanding...and closeness. 

I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot about that lately and I wouldn't say I'm done with that thought, but just putting it out there. There are a LOT of things I'm not saying here as I feel like this is a lot more multi-faceted as it appears on the your screen.

Three.

...Oh it's a magic number...

I think I prefer the original version of that song to the newer Lemonheads version, but you can have a different opinion if you like. School house rock definitely rocked and I know I loved any opp to watch a video in class, save for the projector types. Something inevitably went wrong and though we would get all excited about doing something other than spelling words (or worse, science), when my teacher would lose patience and kill the filmatic festivities for the day. The best days were the rainy days that included videos though. Ahhh, I can almost smell the crayons and old carpet of my middle school. I could write blogs and blogs about those days, but I shall spare you...for now.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Three. Today marks mine and Ash's THREE year wedding anniversary. It seems like much longer and much shorter all at the same time. I remember the day so well. Right up until I walked into the church. Thank God for DVRs, am I right? What I love about being married to Ashley is his heart. He teaches me so much in how he loves people, and really cares about them. His expression of it is imperfect, of course. I think anytime God tries to show His face in us outwardly, there is enough of us that gets in the way. But he is sincere, tender and tough (most of you are familiar enough with his wit as well). He is not afraid to love what and who he loves. It's hard for me to imagine my life without him or really remember myself before him at times. I have found understanding and companionship with him that were only promises, and still are this side of heaven. I feel like I can see more clearly the heart of God b/c of our relationship. For those of you who know me, it's hard to be that ooshy about it, but that's how I feel. Yay.

And here is a pic from our Memorial Day trip up the coast to Rockport, a quintessential New England fishing village on Cape Ann. It was a most perfect weekend to get away here and though the temperature was incredible, the water was ICY, so no swimming, with exception of the man in the bikini style speedo.  The train ride back was entertaining as a certain yokel cursed the MBTA the entire way back, paused with intervals of opera-esque stylings, and other passengers got pissed off about not being able to move away from her since the train was so full. Fun times.

If you want more info on Rockport, click here.

Cheers.

New Post

So I had my first show here in Boston this weekend, along with some really nice weather, even though this has been a very cold spring. Wearing my "big coat" on May 15th is not my idea of spring weather, so it felt great to have a few hours in a tank top. Woot woot. The show went pretty smoothly, made some cash, even met some friends, so I had a pretty productive go of it. I feel like I'm coming out of a little bit of the winter of discontent I've been in since we arrived. Cabin fever takes on a whole new meaning up here. People don't seem to take a moment of good weather for granted. It was nice to have a bit of somewhat sincere socializing this weekend with everyone out and about. It's funny to talk about the weather here. In the South, it seems kind of arbitrary and boring to do it, but here people can't help but talk about it b/c it either sucks or is awesome. Funny like that. There are just as many strange people that come to these craft shows here as down South. Strange people, and not the kind that ask why my stuff doesn't have stars and moons on it or tell me what I should be doing with my craft. And they say really awkward things, which is definitely more enjoyable if Ash is there to laugh with me silently. There was also a chick that made 'unique' dog collars and had them displayed on her fake life-size dog at her booth. The entertaining part of it was watching every dog that walked by it sniff its ass, and couple of small dogs actually tried to mount it, which didn't work on a number of levels. Two dogs even started fighting over it. Okay, so maybe we were bored.

Last weekend, we got to hang out with our good friends Gene and Laura. We had fun doing a little "andare a zonzo" up and down the red line and through the North End. We found a great pastry shop too. This pic is us on the dock...and sadly, the first time Ash and I have seen the water despite living right beside it. Sheeze! He's the guy on the right who looks like Mr. Rogers...

The rest are of us enjoying our cannolis. MMM!

Weekend, I prefer the WEEKend

So it's Friday and I'm more excited than I should be since my 'work week' is not the 8-5p I was accustomed to loooong ago. I think b/c my husband is strapped into that (rather the 9-6p, or 9-8p of late), that may explain my excitement. And he is really my only friend here right now, I have really enjoyed getting more face time with someone during the weekend than I get all week. He just laughs at my freakish bounding when he comes through the door in the evenings. Not that I wouldn't enjoy him, or didn't in Bham where I was surrounded by friends and having wine on the porch all the time, but I think I really appreciate my time with him now. Funny how we tend to take those closest to us so for granted, and so gradually, it seems. And I am homesick in the Brazilian sense of the word for my friends and family. Saudade. I have no wine and I have no porch, but I do have friends coming into town tomorrow, so that's a very good thing. Albeit, a little more temperate than the wine on the porch crowd ;). And our friend David was in town earlier this week; Upon seeing him, I think I bear hugged him harder than I expected to just b/c I realized how much we had missed him (and his sweet wife, though she was not able to make it, sadly). Maybe I hugged him on her behalf too.  One of my studio mates made the comment to me later this week "good friends are not so plentiful that we can take them for granted." Amen. 

I know we'll meet people and make new friends here, but this is not the auto-atmosphere that we had in college, or in our neighborhood, no church that we are committed to yet, & we are living amongst Northeasterners, who don't always warm as quickly as our Southern counterparts, so I'm learning to be patient. In some conversations we've had with people, it seems they think we were supposed to have arrived with more of a game plan than we did and already be so connected and 'swimming.' I mean, WHY else would we move? I would settle for just a good dog paddle. All the reasons we moved get muddled in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I know our weaknesses in pursuing others, but I have to have hope that we're not rushing what is developing here in such a lonely little valley. 

And now, I have to go clean. And clean a much smaller space than I had in Bhm, which is also a very good thing. :)

Andare a Zonzo

I guess it's time for me to mark my territory here on mcclurelife.  

Back in college, I went on a two-month trip to Europe with others in the architecture program.  It was a great trip, but we did make the trip with Prof. Zorr.  Zorr was a strange bird - he would make some kind of weird siren sound when he saw something he didn't like, and an equally weird yet distinct siren sound when he saw something he liked.  He wore the same outfit everyday - a white turtleneck, khaki pants, and a blue blazer.  Except for Fridays, when he came in a ratty pair of overalls and a blue sweatshirt jacket.  Every week.  This was our tour guide through the grand boulevards of Paris and the canals of Venice.

So Zorr came up with this "theme" for our tour:  Andare a Zonzo, which he translated as "to walk around aimlessly."  You ask me, a bunch of college students don't require structured aimlessness, it just kind of happens.  

It was an interesting theme, and part of me wonders if ole Zorr just didn't want to come up with anything for us to do, and so stuck with a theme of not having one.  The weird thing was, I feel like I was able to really get a better feel for the people, the city, the food, etc. when I wasn't given a minute-by-minute itenerary. 

Now we're in a new city, and it feels a lot like wandering around aimlessly (which Zorr called "zonzoing.")  We get lost every time we venture outside of our known area, and it's frustrating.  But, we are getting to know our city, our people, just by driving/walking around.  We've discovered the best things when we didn't plan on it, when we weren't in control.  There's something helpful (and hopeful) about that.

 - ashley

Mary, Mary, Quite contrary...

So we were able to secure a small plot of earth in the Fenway Victory Garden area near our apt. A little history on the area is that it's the oldest continually run public garden in the United States, beginning in 1940's. It's also an Frederick Law Olmstead designed project and part of the Emerald Necklace, a series of connected parks within the Boston area that he did in the 20's. His firm also designed the Highland Park area of Birmingham. Anyway, we are pumped to get to be a part of making our neighborhood beautiful, but also getting to know the other people who have spaces down there too (and hopefully save some $$ on groceries). Apparently, there is even a fensfest, which is like a huge bbq during the summer. 

So we arrived at our new space Saturday to find a great surprise of flowers already in bloom in our little space, thanks to former 'owners.' Though we are to do all the work in our area, it's still just a rental, so we planned on reusing as much as we could. Luckily, there was also a brick pathway we dug up and re-formed so that we could make room for all the veggies we want to plant. And there were even several tools left, which totally rocked b/c we left so much of that kind of stuff in Bhm. Here's how it looked when we arrived on Saturday...

My favorite part of our new space. TULIPS...and lambs ear. :)

After about $100 and 8 hours of work later, this is how it looked when we left today...

Oh, and the area we covered up will soon be our vegetable patch, so we moved all the other original plantings that weren't near the tulips over to that side as one big grouping.

Below is a pic of my favorite garden in the FVG. This guy has been at it for years.

So that's a little bit of what we did this weekend. What did you do? I would love some comments on what to plant.  I am really missing my Cheryl and SuSu and their green thumbs living  right next door! Particularly some tomato advice. I also have swiss chard, spinach, mesclun, carrots, broccoli, summer and winter squash, basil, and of course, rosemary. I do want to plant a few more flowers and such...

Out of Office

So today seems a little brighter. I think moving my "office" to ULA Cafe is better than sitting inside our dark little apt every morning. I linked it here if you want to check it out. ULA! It's funny--I'm less than 1/2 mile from the Sam Adams Brewery from my studio (and is on the other side of the building from ULA), but you'd never know it b/c it's such a modest building in the middle of a neighborhood. Somehow I would expect some neon somewhere, but maybe old Sammy is just a step above the rest...The whole area around here is very unassuming as well. This particular place reminds me of the Pepper Place area, but bigger...and this little cafe was such a welcome oasis from the myriad of Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts on every corner. Blech. If America runs on Dunkin' then we are screwed.

I don't have much to say this morn, as I usually end up figuring out what I'm writing as I sit here, much like how I process my thoughts in any conversation. Nothing comes to mind that I should bore you with today so I'll write more later.

Maybe I'll try to figure out how to post pics...? Don't be hating on them either, I took some where we still didn't have all of our junk put up yet. It's hard to go from 1500sf to 600sf! Comments on each pic is below it...

This is what you see when you walk into our apt and do a 180...
This is the view from our hallway into the living room. The kitchen is next to it, but apparently I didn't take a pic of it...yet.
This is the view into our alcove from the LR. This is also the room that you guys can shack up in when you come stay with us. I even put up curtains for privacy...haha. These pictures look so junky now that I've posted them...
This is my studio. Which IS junky...but that's how I roll. This is shot from the far wall from where you come in.
This is another shot of where the magic happens...
This is the outside of our building...I love that we have birds on it, which I found out are called Griffins. The irony would be conceiving little Griffin here sometime next year...or next. or the next...
And this is where we are relative to downtown Boston...
And a zoomed shot of what we see from our apt. 

So I hope you enjoyed the slideshow. I'll post some pics of the green monstah and some of the red sox action at some point as well. I know I have those pics, but I'm not sure where they are...

Oh, and I learned some html code for updating my website if you get the chance to peruse the store...www.olariastudio.com

...Rub a Dub Dub

A hot shower is one of the sexiest things there are in this world. And if cleanliness is next to godliness, then I am feeling pretty saint-like this morning. Blessed are the pipes that bring hot water! Okay, so I know I'm being really dramatic right now, but that's how amazing I feel after having previously gone two more days without a good, steamy shower...One of the many facets of Birmingham life I took for granted. Others like having my own washer and dryer and not having to dig someone else's undies out of the washer before putting my own in...or paying upwards of $5 just to do one load, half dried. Or having to go move my car from the amazing parking space I fought for just so city sweepers may or may not come by and sweep...(though that would have been a treat in Bhm...). 

I guess there are trade offs as well. There is a lot more 'music' in my daily world as I make my way around town here...walking, of course. They are often the moments I wish I had one of you guys here to eyeball with silent chuckles...someone who can appreciate them with me. ;) 

There is the guy on the Yawkey bridge right past the stadium that plays his electric guitar, mini amp and all, any time there is a home game. I have heard several renditions of motorhead, ac/dc (etc) songs over the past few weeks on my way to the trains, right down to the vocals. This guy knows his audience. Then there is the guy who sits in our particular T stop that loves to play the themes from the 1960's Willy Wonka on his cello, which ends up feeling as creepy as the boatride b/c haunting echo it has in the station. There is another man who has made a song out of asking for change next to the stadium, who actually has quite a range. Next we have the random jam fest of hippies and any passerby that will join in with sticks, spoons, tambourine, paper cup drum and the like at pretty much any common square you come to. In Davis square this past weekend, there was even a group of musicians playing an array of Old Crow and possibly some Avett Brothers in the square, but had to stop when someone wasn't staying in "D" long enough for the 'vocalist'...which I'm not sure was in any key at all. Finally, another favorite is the red line train stations, which typically have someone who seems to know a bit more about what they are playing (classical of course) and actually sound really nice...appropriate for all the classy people taking the trains from there up to Harvard and such. It almost feels like those scenes in Amelie. Beautiful. I love how eclectic it all is and am glad that I can understand this city a little bit through its music...

...And I'm CLEAN!

...More

Today is Patriots Day here in New England, our "extra holiday" of sorts--jealous? It should be fun, except for the fact that my husband still has to work today. Boo. There is a marathon and all kinds of festivities around the city, apparently...and of course, a game at the green monstah. Outside my window, I can hear the locals getting all riled up. I, however, have not gotten out of my bathrobe yet to go see what all the fuss is about. I know I should be out and about exploring my new city, which I have done a little bit, but I'm just not there yet. I'm not sure why I'm not. I hate that I sound like Debbie Downer here, as I have every reason NOT to be. It's just not as much fun to explore stuff by yourself either. I feel like every word out of my mouth is criticism of our new place. (Well, you would be complaining if you realized that "heat and hot water included" really meant heat no higher than a 60 degrees for winter months and water no hotter than 80 degrees at best). Coming from owning your own place (and all those problems you own with it), it's very hard NOT to get frustrated b/c you can't control even getting a hot shower. I think this is called transition and I don't think I'm very good at it. It feels like a huge step backward for us. I miss our house and our neighbors and our friends and I'm wondering why we moved here. Nothing seems better at all. But I have to wonder if it really was supposed to be better, if not just different, even in ways we don't like. We have fallen into the metropolis lie and lost our way. I know there are good things to see and I can't right now. I am reading this and know I come across completely over-dramatic but I have to be honest in saying I'm not going to just put on a happy face and be okay with it. There should be a top five coming later.

We visited a church yesterday and it was okay. They had a missionary speaker from Brazil there, which seemed to distract me from my anger about having to get another cold shower that morning. He spoke plainly, without the cool and regulated tones of pastors I've learned to tune out. Which is why I think I heard him...after telling us about his wife having had Alzheimer's for over 9 years and that this was his first 'break' from her in that time, he talked a little bit about having an eternal perspective in living...something I know I've lost sight of and what made me rethink my current wailings a bit. I know there is peace in that kind of hope. But looking back over the last few years, that seems to be the last place I go in my heart, in my progression of faith. Returning from Brazil the last time was so hard for so many reasons, but I think I just felt so awful, so much like a failure, and things got so dark, that I think I just gave up on following as persistently as I had in years prior. I felt so blind-sided; it didn't seem like it was worth the pain and part of me is ashamed for letting one person affect me so much. I think things just got a lot more cloudy and light for me too want to make definitions for how I was going to be, and I ended up just living in distraction, ignoring my own brokenness and shaming others for theirs. 

I have fewer distractions here, I'm seeing. It's easy to make the 'few' quite large...and quite ridiculous. And now that it's quieter, relatively speaking (there IS a stadium 300 yards from my apt window), it's hard to not listen a little more to His still small voice wanting me to converse with Him...kind of like we used to...but more. There's got to be more.

there are rox in my sox

okay, so crazy has descended upon our neighborhood. what was a mere mention in my former post has become a "holy shit" in my world today. i stepped out of my front door moments after my earlier post only to find strange and familiar sights and sounds around me: sox fans...by the drones. the aroma of dip cans and hot dogs filled the air amid the cold and sweaty mass rushing toward the stadium--filling every sidewalk and roadway this side of mass avenue. helicopters swirled above and tiny prop planes circled with their banner-ads and i almost thought i was back in panama city beach...yeehaw. it wasn't until the fighter jets did their fly-by that i was convinced how mad this city truly is. after re-routing myself to another t station for my downtown errands, (since my usual one requires me to walk down yawkey way, the veritable runway of crazy), i found the whole entire city to be consumed with these red sox. 

i like all kinds of sox and i'm not sure i'm going to be devoted to red ones more than any other kind. after all, what if i want to wear purple...?

Settling in...I think.

So I am about to unpack the last box and I have to say, moving from a 1400sf house to a 600sf apt is quite a feat for two people who can't (normally) throw anything away. And by two people, I mean one..me. But I have, and I still have a lot more to toss. Our little place looks a lot more homey, but you'll have to wait for pics until I figure out how to post them...or take the time. I still can't find our camera, so there's that...

This is a very cool neighborhood. This weekend Ash and I got to explore it a bit more. I think we may just make concentric circles out from here. Being that we live in 'the fens' we have to walk right past the Fenway ticket office every time we go to the trains...and tonight is opening night on the home field. They've been getting ready for it since last Tuesday and there has been an increasing amount of crazy swaggering around in its Sox gear. So, we have eaten at some of the best places, and they are even in our neighborhood...mexican, greek, italian, american bistro, sushi...and that's just Fenway. We did find the Ikea, in case you were wondering, but only for storage purposes, though I must admit a tiny bit of calm did wash over me as we walked through the familiar maze of royal blue and sunshine. ;) Sad. 

The people. We have met some of the nicest people here, surprisingly. Everyone talks about how rude north easterners are, and I'm sure they can be. Helpful would be the best word I could use to date. I anticipate future altercations, but so far, even having to continue to deal with municipal employees in Bhm for a couple of our wrap-up issues have been much harder to deal with than anyone I've met so far here at City Hall. I LOVE the accent or rather, that is always surprises me to hear it so thick and at times, a lot like Peter Griffin, which only makes me smile. It has made it's way into conversation-relay for both Ashley and myself instead of our usual "he/she said" accent and I'm sure will easily trickle into our dialect without our realizing it...kind of a bastardized cotney. Oh, I should mention that I've learned three new words this week that are all racially derogatory in ways I did not expect or know previously. All of which Ashley has told me I cannot repeat, no matter how fun they may be to say. Damn.

This blogging thing is hard for me...not knowing who is reading this. I haven't gotten to the point of not caring yet. There is what I want to write and what there is to write...what's more real or what's more real for me. So I think I'll stick to a little play by play for now and hopefully it will evolve. 

Bahs-tahn

Well, we're here...but that's about all I can say at the moment. I'm sitting in the middle of piles of our junk in what could one day become our living room. I spent the last four days with my in-laws in constant presence and am glad to be alone for a moment...unjudged. Moving in wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but parking is--our current tickets total $40 for day one. Sheeze! Good thing we sold our house before we left. 

My brain is really fuzzy with all this and I still don't think it's hit me that we are here...we are moved. Although you'd think it would have occurred to me what with all the disarray around me now.  I will post pictures when I have a second (and figure out how). 

irony of hope

Sooo. We leave Bhm in 6 days...and I have SO much to do. Every time I go to pack something up, it seems like it's too much to pack up at once, so I go do something else, like laundry. And then I remember that I was supposed to be packing, so I go back and forth between unfinished tasks all day. And then people stop by and (though I love love love it) I get so distracted all over again. How I know I'll long to be distracted two weeks from now...which is probably why you'll see more posts start appearing. If I can pull myself out of the fetal position long enough to type anything. ;)

There's so much to look forward to in this move...a fresh start of sorts. It's easy to think that I will be someone else in Boston...that Ashley will too. We WANT to be, so why wouldn't we be, am I right? Part of what initiated this move is the feeling that we were far too settled and far too stuck where we are in our little community of work and play. Now as I pack up our days and fold away the memories of labor and love we have poured into this home, I'm not so sure that was a bad thing. 

Being that today is Easter and though I feel like we have just ignored it this year in this busy moving season, I find that there is hope stirring in my heart, what has felt numb for quite some time now. It's ironic to see it, even feel it there. It seems all joy comes with sorrow and though I long for change in my own life, it seems like forever getting there. It's easier to think that things will fall apart before they get better at every turn. Ashley sees it as my little storm cloud and I'm reluctant to give it up--even in the face of God's goodness b/c somehow I will still be right if it all falls through. "HA! I knew it, God!" says the storm cloud in my brain. But...I hope that I will hope.

Day one

Well, www.stayclassy.blogspot.com was taken, so this is what we got. I hope you look forward to reading about our shananigans since we've joined you cool kids and your blog-o-whirl...but I can't promise we'll update often...I mean, with all the fun we'll be having. Haha. Seriously though. ;)