Professionally speaking...

{Disclaimer: This is just a bit of an issue I've had mulling over in my head and are only incomplete thoughts. Read at your own risk!}

So I think going into business for myself started out as such a great idea. It has been a good thing, a bad thing, and has had about as many emotions as my marriage. And much like marriage, had I known exactly what I was in for on the forefront, I'm not sure I would have jumped in (so quickly). It's a relationship that I can't seem to break free of and it has kind of become its own person of sorts. It has its demands, it weaknesses and strengths, its highs and lows, and as much as I love it, I hate it. It's exhilerating and draining and I can't walk away. At least right now. I really didn't want to blog about business unless I had a business blog of sorts, but here it is. Part of it is being a woman in business. That is not something I think I thought much about when I began but has become more of a part of its identity than I thought it should. Being the the nature of business is making money at the end of the day, it seems like women are often expected to be accomodating rather than profitable. Unless you are a pimp, I guess. And I didn't file 501(c)(3) for a reason...

I say that because in my experience in the South more so than what I have found here in New England, dealing with customers and fellow artists takes on a much different tone. I realize that is a huge generalization and that I'm probably speaking more about women rather than our geographical placement. However, I am glad to be free of much pretense there is for being professional and getting paid without other women thinking that I am stepping all over their high heels or infringing on their right to creativity. Or imagine for a moment that you own a store and I ask you to kindly pay for the items you purchased from me, request that you not write me another bad check, or call you out for giving me the same sad excuse for not being able to pay (which has nothing whatever to do with our business relationship). I didn't realize I was here to make your business profitable before my own. Sheeze. This doesn't make me a bi-atch, but rather quite savvy on the bottom line of what we've agreed we're doing here. Or if you ask for my 'professional' opinion, I'm going to assume you genuinely want to know what I think in regard to said particular issue, show, item or how you created something. It's also just an opinion. I also realize that my personality plays into this particular aspect of the situation, which often enough gravely clouds my intentions, of which are not ruthlessness and spite.

What is the point of saying weightless words and having pointless conversations like that? Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for an opp to be mean or tear someone a new one, but there is a lot to be said for being tackfully honest and knowing where you stand with someone. I sincerely hate conflict, but I know walking through it is often the quickest way to get to where we both want to be...I guess now I'm speaking about things other than just business, but that's where I've felt a lot more freedom of late. I think my most vibrant relationships have seen their share of conflict, but also resolution and understanding...and closeness. 

I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot about that lately and I wouldn't say I'm done with that thought, but just putting it out there. There are a LOT of things I'm not saying here as I feel like this is a lot more multi-faceted as it appears on the your screen.

Three.

...Oh it's a magic number...

I think I prefer the original version of that song to the newer Lemonheads version, but you can have a different opinion if you like. School house rock definitely rocked and I know I loved any opp to watch a video in class, save for the projector types. Something inevitably went wrong and though we would get all excited about doing something other than spelling words (or worse, science), when my teacher would lose patience and kill the filmatic festivities for the day. The best days were the rainy days that included videos though. Ahhh, I can almost smell the crayons and old carpet of my middle school. I could write blogs and blogs about those days, but I shall spare you...for now.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Three. Today marks mine and Ash's THREE year wedding anniversary. It seems like much longer and much shorter all at the same time. I remember the day so well. Right up until I walked into the church. Thank God for DVRs, am I right? What I love about being married to Ashley is his heart. He teaches me so much in how he loves people, and really cares about them. His expression of it is imperfect, of course. I think anytime God tries to show His face in us outwardly, there is enough of us that gets in the way. But he is sincere, tender and tough (most of you are familiar enough with his wit as well). He is not afraid to love what and who he loves. It's hard for me to imagine my life without him or really remember myself before him at times. I have found understanding and companionship with him that were only promises, and still are this side of heaven. I feel like I can see more clearly the heart of God b/c of our relationship. For those of you who know me, it's hard to be that ooshy about it, but that's how I feel. Yay.

And here is a pic from our Memorial Day trip up the coast to Rockport, a quintessential New England fishing village on Cape Ann. It was a most perfect weekend to get away here and though the temperature was incredible, the water was ICY, so no swimming, with exception of the man in the bikini style speedo.  The train ride back was entertaining as a certain yokel cursed the MBTA the entire way back, paused with intervals of opera-esque stylings, and other passengers got pissed off about not being able to move away from her since the train was so full. Fun times.

If you want more info on Rockport, click here.

Cheers.

New Post

So I had my first show here in Boston this weekend, along with some really nice weather, even though this has been a very cold spring. Wearing my "big coat" on May 15th is not my idea of spring weather, so it felt great to have a few hours in a tank top. Woot woot. The show went pretty smoothly, made some cash, even met some friends, so I had a pretty productive go of it. I feel like I'm coming out of a little bit of the winter of discontent I've been in since we arrived. Cabin fever takes on a whole new meaning up here. People don't seem to take a moment of good weather for granted. It was nice to have a bit of somewhat sincere socializing this weekend with everyone out and about. It's funny to talk about the weather here. In the South, it seems kind of arbitrary and boring to do it, but here people can't help but talk about it b/c it either sucks or is awesome. Funny like that. There are just as many strange people that come to these craft shows here as down South. Strange people, and not the kind that ask why my stuff doesn't have stars and moons on it or tell me what I should be doing with my craft. And they say really awkward things, which is definitely more enjoyable if Ash is there to laugh with me silently. There was also a chick that made 'unique' dog collars and had them displayed on her fake life-size dog at her booth. The entertaining part of it was watching every dog that walked by it sniff its ass, and couple of small dogs actually tried to mount it, which didn't work on a number of levels. Two dogs even started fighting over it. Okay, so maybe we were bored.

Last weekend, we got to hang out with our good friends Gene and Laura. We had fun doing a little "andare a zonzo" up and down the red line and through the North End. We found a great pastry shop too. This pic is us on the dock...and sadly, the first time Ash and I have seen the water despite living right beside it. Sheeze! He's the guy on the right who looks like Mr. Rogers...

The rest are of us enjoying our cannolis. MMM!

Weekend, I prefer the WEEKend

So it's Friday and I'm more excited than I should be since my 'work week' is not the 8-5p I was accustomed to loooong ago. I think b/c my husband is strapped into that (rather the 9-6p, or 9-8p of late), that may explain my excitement. And he is really my only friend here right now, I have really enjoyed getting more face time with someone during the weekend than I get all week. He just laughs at my freakish bounding when he comes through the door in the evenings. Not that I wouldn't enjoy him, or didn't in Bham where I was surrounded by friends and having wine on the porch all the time, but I think I really appreciate my time with him now. Funny how we tend to take those closest to us so for granted, and so gradually, it seems. And I am homesick in the Brazilian sense of the word for my friends and family. Saudade. I have no wine and I have no porch, but I do have friends coming into town tomorrow, so that's a very good thing. Albeit, a little more temperate than the wine on the porch crowd ;). And our friend David was in town earlier this week; Upon seeing him, I think I bear hugged him harder than I expected to just b/c I realized how much we had missed him (and his sweet wife, though she was not able to make it, sadly). Maybe I hugged him on her behalf too.  One of my studio mates made the comment to me later this week "good friends are not so plentiful that we can take them for granted." Amen. 

I know we'll meet people and make new friends here, but this is not the auto-atmosphere that we had in college, or in our neighborhood, no church that we are committed to yet, & we are living amongst Northeasterners, who don't always warm as quickly as our Southern counterparts, so I'm learning to be patient. In some conversations we've had with people, it seems they think we were supposed to have arrived with more of a game plan than we did and already be so connected and 'swimming.' I mean, WHY else would we move? I would settle for just a good dog paddle. All the reasons we moved get muddled in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I know our weaknesses in pursuing others, but I have to have hope that we're not rushing what is developing here in such a lonely little valley. 

And now, I have to go clean. And clean a much smaller space than I had in Bhm, which is also a very good thing. :)