Advent blogging

so...our church has had an advent blog going over the course of the last few weeks. it's been written by members of the parish. despite my silence on our little blog, i did get to post one for the church's blog. i mean, what did you expect, me to blog on both? do you know me? 

here is my entry. But I also particularly liked the one by Courtney on day 14.

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying this advent/Christmas season. I hope to post more in the coming days.

Oh, and here's our Christmas card this year...

dirty thirty

So Ash turned the big three-OOOOH this week. We had the most fun ever at the Sufjan Stevens show at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown Boston. Amazingness of the best kind and I hope to post a video or two later. I pretty much had the flip on the entire time. It felt a little lot like he threw a birthday party for Ash b/c there was ginormous balloon drop and a confetti canon alongside some pretty sweet dance moves. SO. GOOD.  Okay, I'll stop gushing. After the show, we, along with quite a slew of people we know, went over to Stoddard's for some cake + beers + heckling Ash for his age.

I thought I would use the rest of this post to gush about my dear hubs. Thirty reasons I love you, Ash...And/OR random things people don't know about you (in no particular order):

1.) you talk in your sleep...mostly giggle/chuckle. And your limbs ALWAYS jerk sharply as you fall asleep, waking me up.
2.) you make me love Jesus more by how you love me.
3.) your favorite way to start a sentence is, "Well...apparently..." even if what is coming next is more obvious than it is apparent...
4.) you are way more patient with people than I can ever imagine being...including with myself.
5.) you always give people the benefit of the doubt.
6.) you are an amazing piano player...and I'm sitting here listing to it right now. you also play the trumpet, organ and the banjo, kind of.
7.) you are considering a tattoo. raaarrrr. an inked man. holla!
8.) you are more like your mom in the tiniest of ways than you will ever admit.
9.) my "thinking out loud" still makes you SO anxious. And gives me every reason to continue doing it.
10.) you have way more character, integrity and fortitude than anyone I have ever met.
11.) the worst thing I have ever heard anyone say about you is that you need to be more assertive.
12.) you are way sillier than I ever thought you could be before I married you. WAY.
13.) you let me entertain stupid ideas about just about anything...but always jump in with truth just when you see me starting to believe the lies in my head.
14.) you would have a much harder time writing all this about yourself than I'm having right now.
15.) you show your love to people with sarcasm, wit and awkward hugs.
16.) you used to want to be an underwear model an ambulance driver when you were younger.
17.) when you get excited about a particular dish I make (or anything, really), you bounce. literally. without realizing it. up. down. up. down.
18.) you still think I like surprise parties...and try SO hard to make them happen.
19.) you are the "clean" one in this relationship (not that that really surprises anyone).
20.) you couldn't quote a movie if you tried.
21.) that you and I can go 20 consecutive rounds of paper-rock-scissors TYING every time.
22.) you leave room for each of us to change who we are in this progression of life.
23.) I didn't know men like you existed before I met you and you totally swept me off my feet. And still do.
24.) your biggest strength is your quiet kindness and those who don't know you well wrongly mistake that as a weakness.
25.) somehow we can be SO different on the outside and at the same time, we think SO the same.
26.) you hate board games/group games as much as I do.
27.) you are slow to speak, even when it kills you or causes you to be misunderstood.
28.) you are the most amazing husband. I am so lucky.
29.) you are the most amazing father to EV. She is so lucky.
30.) you will immediately want me to take this list down once I hit "publish."

I love you, birthday boy man!

Vacation, part deux

here are some of our vacation images. unfortunately, we didn't take any with our "good camera" until the last leg of the trip...in the catskills in our cool modern cabin in the woods. did i mention it had a hot tub?

 Ellery is asking where we are going, "wah deedle DAH?"

 Ash really does walk like this...he is my own personal toy soldier...

 This is my better, more vacationed side...

 Again with the questions..."Wah. DEEDLE. DAH?!"

 learning to play in the leaves...

So, if I can get the pictures from the cell phone to upload, we'll have some NYC shots. And Gene and Laura, if you have any of Ellers playing with Nell, send them our way.

Check Engine

So many of you know that we have had repeated problems with our car of late. We bought a 2004 Saturn Vue in June 2009 when our Altima lease was up. And for the record, this is my 3rd Saturn and only one that has ever given me problems. We paid it off this past June. And somewhere in there, the check engine light came on. Then it would go off. Then back on. *sigh* Figures.

We decided to get it checked out ($100) and found out it was some kind of ignition something + the spark plugs/coils. So we replaced it to the tune of $340. Then the light came back on. Ugh. We took it back and found out it was one of the coils/plugs they replaced. Easy, right? They replaced them. Done. Then, the light came back on. Took it back again and they added insulators b/c they said it was saying the same coil was bad, meaning it could be some module thing near it overheating, not the coil itself. Does that mean that initial $340 was for something that wasn't wrong in the first place?! So they put in the new module (for a reduced price, apparently). Ash picks it up, gets around the block, and guess what? LIGHT ON AGAIN! So he went back in for the refund. And now the light has been on for two days until last night when it magically went off. Or burned out. There is still a faint image of the check engine symbol I can still see, but I can't tell if it's just burned into my brain or it's dash lights mocking me.

So I think Ash will be making a call to Car Talk this weekend. I'm taking bets on Click&Clack's ability to solve this mystery. And also for Ash's ability to clearly describe the problem to them. Any takers?

home is whenever i'm with you...

tonight i miss this room. what it felt like to be in this room...with friends around the table, drinking and laughing and drinking, and being seriously serious about loftier things. i remember when we bought (the table) and got it home, we prayed that it's use would always be one of genuine hospitality, warmth and love.

and i miss that piano. and Ash playing it. that one has been in storage since we moved up here and he's currently playing the "new" keyboard he bought to finally give himself the chance to play more now that we have been in Boston for 2.5 years already. it resides in our closet/office/music room behind our bedroom. it couldn't possibly sound more different. our life couldn't be much different now that it was in these pictures. it makes me incredibly sad some days that we do not still own this house...and that we can never return to that time or place. our first home together was here. i know people say it was just a house, and maybe time has made me see it as more than it was even at the time. i'm sure of it. but i am certain that i loved that house more than i hated it.

as for where we live now...at least we could paint it the colors we wanted...

what i love about where we live now has little to do with how anything looks or is setup. mostly, it's a struggle with the toys that E is slowly accumulating in such cramped quarters (and our furniture doesn't quite fit. the rest of the make-it-work furniture will be sold when we leave here). i love how our home smells when we come home from vacation. how large our new bed is...and comfy too. i love that E has her own room, which is a luxury in Boston, i realize. i love that friends of ours live close enough to us (though not two doors down, Su Su). i love that we can walk anywhere...to the T, to the downtown area of JP, to any playground we like, through the Forest Hills Cemetary...or we could drive...that anything we "need" is less than a mile away. i love that i'm starting to run into people that we know at the store or on our walks...finally! i used to hate take that for granted in Bhm, especially b/c i was never particularly interested in seeing whomever it was that i ran into, typically. Funny that a con has now become a pro.

as we contemplate where we will "end up" in life, i find myself with a laundry list of wants/do-not-wants (and the "oh hell nos"). i want community and have known it in both places we've lived. i want to know the back roads and be able to give directions or pass along a good electrician (although i DO have a mac guy). i want to have friends that will just come in the back door and riffle through my fridge. i want to have a space that works and that i can put my big table in so i can sit all of my friends around and laugh and drink and talk with.

and i want Ash to play his piano. his real piano.

back from vacation part 1

so while i'm still sorting my thoughts out on our trip, staying in other peoples' homes (both friends and not-friends), check out this sweet little gem on co-habitation. Steph, thanks for the link to the link, my friend.

Pictures and details to come.

one leg...

So this has had me laughing so hard today...I love Amy Poehler for a variety of reason, but Amber has to be one of my favorites. Jealous?

It's no secret that I love fart jokes. I mean, that's why we're friends, right?

I guess growing up with this guy:

didn't really give me any options for alternative forms of humor, considering he used to fart in his hand and put it in my face. Or hold me down and just fart right on my face. Hmmm, based on the last two sentences, you'd think I'd actually hate farts. But then again, who actually hates them? I mean come ON. Hate? That's such a strong word. The irony is that my dear hubs didn't even know what a dutch oven was when we got married even though he grew up with a brother. And even admitted in recent years that he had never farted in front of his mom (until one day he did without thinking about it). He's going to totally be mad at me now.

I digress.

So I don't remember what I was originally going to post about other than to just prove to Ash that I can blog more than once a week.

Oh yeah, the barista who was almost severely injured...After having been a barista myself for well over 7 years during HS, college and afterwards, I understand the fury that is controlled by a prescribed amount of caffeine. The ability to contribute in one way or another to some people's daily routine admittedly gives you a small sense of power and control...but I was never blatant about wanting to eff with people (no matter how much I thought about it)...and I was never out right rude. A little too much syrup or over-pulled shot here, or a little scalded milk there...just enough that I would still get the benefit of the doubt and the mistake wouldn't be realized until they were well on their way. But I never withheld just be a jerk in the face of a customer...Or let 4 people's go ahead of another drink...Or finished the drink and still didn't put it on the counter within reach just b/c I was an assinine twit with no ambition other than to be the biggest white trash hipster in Boston.

After almost leaning across the counter and whispering, "I will CUT you" to said barista, I had a moment of reflection. I need counseling. I am way angrier than that barista, at least for someone who has been redeemed. Henceforth, I am on the search for said counselor and would welcome suggestions.

Oh, and I just farted...jealous?

failure

this whole groaning over whether or not to let the business go/take a break has been going on way too long. i feel like i've been on a sinking ship for quite some time...especially since Ellery was born. juggling time with her + home + all that Olaria requires doesn't seem worthwhile. it's not like it's even creative anymore. it's just production. it's a dying stinking beast that isn't earning it's keep. i barely make enough to pay the babysitter/daycare and any satisfaction that could happen is not there. i keep wondering why am i going to all this effort. i work weekends, nights, early mornings (sometimes) and feel less and less creative. the last two wholesale shows have left me feeling like little more than a monkey jumping through ridiculous hoops.

i have to make a decision about my next wholesale show by today at 5pm EST. if i don't do it, i can't keep the studio. if i can't keep the studio, i can't work on anything...even creatively (in clay). the next likely chance that i'll get to work like this again is after this current station of life and kid(s) are in school. that last sentence does not mean i'm pregnant again...or that we are trying. we are not.

i keep thinking and praying and looking at pros and cons and i just need someone to tell me what to do.

next post will be positive. i promise. i may even tell you about the barista i nearly beheaded.

so: tell me what to do.

starting again

Okay, so don't fall out that I'm posting. It's become one of those things that is kind of like getting on a scale...I don't post...then it's gotten embarrassingly longer since...then it's like, what's the point? I've been a little busy. Even now, I'm swatting little fingers away from the keyboard as I type in game like fashion. Oh Ellery, you are definitely the best and often most frustrating part of my day. Like NOW, she has decided that my cup on water was more useful as a hat. Good thing it was only half full. That's probably good though, no bath later.

So I don't want to try to catch you up on a year's worth of stuff, but let the evidence of zero posts point to the fact that overwhelmed doesn't even do it justice.  I'm glad to know I'm not alone in being a mama, a business-owner, etc. Balance continually eludes me but I hope, going forward, to find the time to have more fun with our little blog and catch up with you all. I'm working off the theme of bittersweetness in all things in my life in the last few years. Sometimes the flavor is more intense than at other times, but it seems to be an undercurrent to all things. More on that later, I'm sure. And more pictures. I promise.

For a bit of something sunny on such a cold autumn morning, here are a few things I love about my life right now.

Ellery wakes up in the morning SO happy and chatty. "we deedle dah! bah zeezle dah. baaaaaah zha da dadada" She is such a happy, sweet kid in more ways that I can express on FB without feeling too overindulgent. LOVE that kid. She gets more and more fun by the day with her little antics, personality and words. Currently, all we have are dada (all the time), mama (only sometimes), wow (on command), uhoh (also on command, and appropriately when something falls, although I feel like she is also starting to use it ironically, which is awesome). UH OOOOOOOHHH!

Adult people: This girl has described me in her blog as a cool drink of water, but I find it to be even more true of her in mine. Refreshing and true and an amazing refreshment...especially having learning more of her story. Have you ever met someone and as you get to know them, you just become continually amazed at their story and how lucky you are to just be a part of their life? Yeah, that's her. And she's hilarious. HIlarious.

I love our new church. I love the people (like the friend above)  I've gotten to know there and how genuine they are. I love that I'm being called back to just love Jesus and not get bogged down in the drama that can be church. And has been church for us in the not recent past. I still miss the music from our old church...how so often listening to it is more of a meeting of my soul to Jesus than many hours of sitting in church or trying to read the Bible. 

I love fall itself here in New England: beautiful. So colorful. I only wish it didn't mean we were approaching my least favorite season and the longest season up here. It's like going to play with your favorite friend, but being tricked into a closet by her older brother and being locked away for 6 months.

We actually have a family vacation coming up soon that we are almost too giddy about. A McClure Three vacation for the first time ever. We won't be going to see family, which is what our time off has meant since we've been up here. We are taking it for ourselves and going on a road trip to Philly, then to Brooklyn, then to a cabin in the Catskills. Some good friends, some adventure, and some rest in the woods. Another bit of news is that Ashley is now a registered architect. Something way too long in the making. And his firm did, in fact, hire him back last November (for those of you who were still unclear on the details of it all).

So thanks for reading...and for not taking us out of your reader. I hope I don't get neglectful of this blog again...my goal is 1-2 a week for now. Okay, so many just one a week. Now for some play time with my baby girl!