It's no secret that I love fart jokes. I mean, that's why we're friends, right?
I guess growing up with this guy:
didn't really give me any options for alternative forms of humor, considering he used to fart in his hand and put it in my face. Or hold me down and just fart right on my face. Hmmm, based on the last two sentences, you'd think I'd actually hate farts. But then again, who actually hates them? I mean come ON. Hate? That's such a strong word. The irony is that my dear hubs didn't even know what a dutch oven was when we got married even though he grew up with a brother. And even admitted in recent years that he had never farted in front of his mom (until one day he did without thinking about it). He's going to totally be mad at me now.
I digress.
So I don't remember what I was originally going to post about other than to just prove to Ash that I can blog more than once a week.
Oh yeah, the barista who was almost severely injured...After having been a barista myself for well over 7 years during HS, college and afterwards, I understand the fury that is controlled by a prescribed amount of caffeine. The ability to contribute in one way or another to some people's daily routine admittedly gives you a small sense of power and control...but I was never blatant about wanting to eff with people (no matter how much I thought about it)...and I was never out right rude. A little too much syrup or over-pulled shot here, or a little scalded milk there...just enough that I would still get the benefit of the doubt and the mistake wouldn't be realized until they were well on their way. But I never withheld just be a jerk in the face of a customer...Or let 4 people's go ahead of another drink...Or finished the drink and still didn't put it on the counter within reach just b/c I was an assinine twit with no ambition other than to be the biggest white trash hipster in Boston.
After almost leaning across the counter and whispering, "I will CUT you" to said barista, I had a moment of reflection. I need counseling. I am way angrier than that barista, at least for someone who has been redeemed. Henceforth, I am on the search for said counselor and would welcome suggestions.
Oh, and I just farted...jealous?
4 comments:
If anything, thank you for blogging again because i am laughing lots more now!
I am clueless about the barista incident. What happened? was this on facebook and i missed it? fill me in.
And Ellery is such a beautiful baby!!
bad day last week. and yes, a post on fb. i love you, jess.
1. I miss you and your barista days...you used to ALWAYS smell like coffee and it made me want some.
2. I got your message yesterday but we have had the flu and are trying to catch up on life.
3. I will call you back soon.
4. Ellery is beautiful!
5. I LOVE YOU!
this is just like being with you in person.
honest and open, with a little crass, and totally endearing.
and funny.
(oh and anger... how i can relate to that anger!)
praying for some good therapy my friend.
love.
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